Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
