I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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