When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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