I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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