moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
