I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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