He kissed a someone with a penis
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
