Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
