if you like me you must not know who I am
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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