Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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