I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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