addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I believe in your delicious
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
