I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i think i scared a bird with my dick
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
