So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
