i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
