My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
