chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
