so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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