The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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