i love accidental penises.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
