You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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