Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
