Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
