my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
