remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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