she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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