Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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