She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
