I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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