how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
