she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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