This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
