it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
