You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
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