Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize
