Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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