MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
