"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I just blew my weed a kiss
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
