just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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