McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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