i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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