There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
