You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Green mimosas i think yes
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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