yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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