Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
