Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I've blown a few things in my day
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
