these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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