What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
