Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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