I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
