i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
