what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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